The Weaning Begins

So Pablo and I spent our first night apart this past weekend. I went to Philly for an AFSC meeting and Pablo stayed home with papa. It's funny what a big deal that seems in the moment - I was all worried and called them numerous times - and how quickly it fades into awaiting the next milestone. I didn't, as I might have hoped, sleep 8 hours straight like a rock. I woke up around the same times Pablo did even though we were a few hundred miles apart, and there was 3:00 a.m. pumping to be done. But I did enjoy the quiet of the night alone, even as I missed the middle of the night nursing and watching Pablo wake up all groggy eyed with that big goofy grin on his face. And I relished having two whole hours on the train all to myself to drink coffee and read the paper!

Still, nothing beat watching Pablo's face break into a huge smile and having him toddle over to me with arms wide for a big hug when I got home. I guess, though, our weaning process is already beginning. In a few years he'll be running away from me instead of toward me, and in a few more he'll resent me and be embarrassed by me, and before I know it he'll be grown with a family of his own. My heart contracts just thinking about it. Motherhood sure does keep taking me by surprise.